Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Just breathe - 12 hours til pregnancy test

I've run it through my mind a thousand times.
I wake up and instantly feel butterflies like the ones you got as a kid on Christmas morning, or on the day of a flight overseas or when you start a new job.
Pure excitement.
Pure nerves.
I will urinate (spent a bit of time thinking about an appropriate word for that and decided to go with the clinical and rather sterile "urinate". Clearly sterile was the wrong word there, but my head is all over the place, alright?) into the cup.
That will be interesting and potentially quite funny as I will have just woken up and be attemping to line up what will doubtless be a cup of tiny circumference with, well, a hole of even tinier circumference.

Then I will place the stick in the cup for 10 seconds. And then I will most likely set the timer I will have grabbed in anticipation and count down from 2:00 minutes until the screen says 0:00.

In 120 seconds I will know.

I have spent all day believing I am pregnant. I am getting more and more people telling me that I would be unlikely to feel any physical symptoms this early AND I was due for my period about two days ago and haven't got it...AND I have had none of the bloating or bitchy moods that usually accompany the week before those little monthly delights. Well, certainly there has been no bloating. That I will swear to.

Surely they are all good signs?

Another reason tomorrow is such a red letter day is that it will be the last time (for now, potentially) that I have to inject, snort or shove some random medical chemical into my person.

There's been nasal spray, injections...and now the disarming concept of squeezing a gel called Crinone into my, well, you know.
That's right. Morning and night I twist the cap off the end of these little white plastic tubes, find a spot on the wall and think of England.
Let me tell you, it wasn't good for me and the earth didn't move as much as make me feel slightly nauseous.
But apparently it's all good for little contains a hormone or something that helps prepare the womb for pregnancy...I imagine it to be the soft furnishings and landscaping of a new home.
IE, the big gruff dirty builders come in and lay the foundation (ovary stimulation drugs), construct the frame and pop in some walls, windows and a roof - using the all-important Polyfilla (donor sperm, meet the egg) then the plumbers come in and put all the bathrooms and toilets in (embryo transfer). It looks pretty lonely right now...and not very lived in.
So a team of property stylists whizzes in and, hey presto, all of a sudden we have a stunning garden, some gorgeous curtains, rugs and cushions and some very special 1000thread count Egyptian cotton bed linen (Crinone). They take a long time (these creative types always do) and they work morning and night, squeezing every last ounce of effort out and up into the work site...

Here's hoping the finished property will win Home Of The Year...

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