Monday, February 21, 2011

Wait, breathe, settle

Pop quiz.
Would the following five things inspire A) confidence, B) indifference or C) shit-scaredness in your new IVF doctor.

1. Hearing him say, upon noticing a connection to the suburb in which you live. “(Suburb), hey? I was there only last week. Friends of my wife have a house up there...spent the whole weekend getting pissed.”
2. Watching him drop a pen, drop a file, drop a pen again and then ask our names three times because “I’ve got another donor insem. couple coming in right after you and I don’t want to get you mixed up.”
3. Listening to him go off on a Groucho Marx riff after he has asked you to hop up on the table for an internal exam because he is a gynaecologist and he can’t let an appointment go by without a bit of a spread-eagled visual and besides, in his line of work, he charms the pants off the ladies – and their knickers too.
4. Asking what T did for a job and, upon hearing she was a hairdresser, boomily remark that he needed a “fucking haircut”, followed by a cursory glance at our three-year-old, who was staring up at him in timid bafflement.
5. Watching as his Ada and Elsie receptionists greet you as a new patient and then make you stand at the counter for, oh, four score and 20 lifetimes while they painstakingly write down your details in a pen-and-ink cardboard-type fashion as if you are back in Year 7 and watching the library lady draw up a new card for her lovingly maintained filing system.
Holy Huey, Louie and Dewey Decimal System, Bat Man!!


If you answered mostly Cs, you and I are as shit-scared as each other. But comically in, I am laughing now, but I am only a few teeny facial muscles away from that laugh turning to a grimace of holy shitly proportions.

I walked out of our appointment last Wednesday with one thought: sweet Lordy Brown, that man is going to be good fodder for this blog.

However I have to hope that we won’t be seeing him for more than the two more appointments we need to have another transfer.


We are aiming for April.

Trying again.


Always means Easter to me, and all those years in Catholic school weren’t for nothing, with a double negative emphasis!
Easter means new life.
Says so, right there in that Bible thing.


Now for us, it’s also a big time of hope. But hope with a lid on it. Hope with a “throw your gut feelings out the window” and this time actually do what you tried to tell everyone you were doing last time: just take the ride where it takes you.

Let it go.

And try not to think ahead. Don’t worry about the 12-week scan. You are not there yet, lady!

Wait, breathe, settle.

And for god’s sake don’t stress about the doc. This is what it says about him on the website:
"A founding member of QFG, Dr John Hynes has over 25 years of experience in infertility treatment. He is well known for the great rapport he establishes with his patients, and he is particularly popular among same sex couples.
A genuine pioneer in infertility, Dr Hynes achieved his first triplet pregnancy from IVF 21 years ago and one of the first successful frozen egg pregnancies in Australia in 2006."

Ahh, I feel better already.


  1. Um. . .maybe some people find his manner amusing?? I don't know who these peol emight be, but as you say hopefully you're not with him long and in the mean time you can delight us with his antics!

  2. oh dear. Sorry it sounds pretty funny in writing, but i can imagine how shocked you were when you were experiencing it. My IVF doc on the coast was such a pig of a man the first time round. I actually told him off for his rudeness (and trust me, I make an earthworm look fiesty I am so laidback- thats how rude he was) but this last time round he has been awesome. Friendly, funny and just really pleasant. Fingersd and toes crossed for u

  3. Oh wow, he sounds um..awesome!

    Which clinic (DM me on twitter if you don't want to say on here) as I am thinking we need to change clinics...not feeling the love from our current RE.

  4. OMFG ... that is like a sitcom situation. Oh, Bec, you have to laugh and perhaps get earplugs for J? I'm a lapsed Catholic but I'll be sending you new life vibes xx

  5. Sass, it's Qld Fertility Group in Brisbane. I think I have mentioned them on here before.
    Thanks all for commenting and sympathy! Gotta fly to work.

  6. Dr Hynes is absolutely amazing!!!! I've been his patient for 6 years and his support of same-sex couples is outstanding. I hope you loosened up a little during the later appointments!!! Goodness me, poor Dr Hynes!!