I am now convinced I shall be giving birth not to a baby but to Woolworths Select toffee caramel biscuits (only $1.99 - amazing), sausage rolls, Red Rock sea salt chips and endless crackers and cheese.
This has essentially been my diet for the past two weeks and I notice now, with some alarm, that they are all processed, all white and contain very little nutritional value. Unless of course you count the times when I lashed out and spread a layer of tomato chutney on my cheese and crackers. Mmm.
Yes, I have become a carbo-loading machine. Only I have absolutely no triathlon to train for or body building contest on my immediate calendar. Huh, shame.
I am officially six weeks and two days pregnant. And yet I swear by the afternoon when my bloating peaks, I look six months pregnant.
I am not sure if I am getting used to the nausea or if it has abated with time. Either way I am coping with it a bit better as time goes on. How? I just eat through it.
It's not strong enough, thank god, to turn me completely off food or make me throw up. Instead, it's like this distasteful hold music that is always there playing faintly in the background: Barry Manilow or Missy Elliot for the digestive system.
So I push through it and eat away. Every few hours I eat. And I am exaggerating about my diet...along with the processed, but bloody yummy, crap is a stack of fruit, vegetables, nuts, eggs and red meat - although I cannot bring myself to look at it raw or actually cook it. Even the thought of it now is making me queasy.
Essentially I am an eating machine. So while I am sure that technically I should have put on about 0.3 of a gram, if you were going to be picky about exactly what my little embryo (is it a foetus yet?) weighs; I have in fact put on much more, I just know it. But there is no way in hell I am going to weigh myself yet. Too scared. Stupid, but true. You know women do not have good relationships with those scales, what makes you think that would change now? Sheesh.
I do have to be careful about what I am eating, though. I think 50% of me has been caught up in the whole "well I am going to put weight on anyway, I can eat what I want". Um, no I can't. So, yeah, Sensible Sally has not completely left the building. She just needs to assert herself a teeny bit more.
Anyway, tomorrow exactly what is going on will be confirmed with our first ultrasound. That's if the doc's jelly wand can penetrate past the sausage rolls and biscuits.
God. I cannot wait. Please be safe and healthy in there. See you tomorrow. (Wow.)