Sunday, June 20, 2010

How do I look?

Eek!

So I have bitten the bullet and changed my blog design. Hmm, and design may indeed be too strong a word. I have sadly discarded those Supre trackies (you know, the ones that everyone has) and I have dared to be bold. Alright this is still a template...but I dared to click on the "Advanced" tab and spend way longer than was necessary hovering over spectrum changes to font colours. I am so a graphic designer right now.

Sigh.

I cunningly timed it to coincide with that little tab to the right...over there (I am pointing) urging you all to make with the comments! **Alas, it is gone now, but there's more info about International Comment Leaving Week here.

So, what do you think *cringes, winces face together in an "I'm not sure" facial gesture*

Please just tell me if it makes you vomit. Oh, and also please tell me if you like it. Actually, please only comment if you are going to say something nice.

I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A TWO-WEEK WAIT PEOPLE - I AM A DONKEY ON THE EDGE! ("Are we there yet?")

I tell you what else I would love to know is your most irrational pet hate - those things that drive you, and only you, completely insane. Those things that have you ranting to your wide-eyed friends...friends who have one of those eyes on you and the other very squarely on the Yellow Pages under C for Crazy.

Mine? Oh there are so many.

And many of them surround tea. Tea bag tags that break off when you undo them. I am cautious when undoing my tea bags, don't think I have bull-in-a-China-shop hands here. I respect the ritual of tea. But sometimes they come apart. It's the people in the factory in Bangalore who make those teeny tiny staples that are designed to keep that piece of dunking string attached to its little tag of cardboard square or indeed to the actual bag that I worry about. Sharpen up Mr Singh, I hate that shit! I also detest too much milk in my tea - or coffee for that matter. If it happens, my day is ruined. Ruined. I am a DASH of milk, macchiato girl all the way. The worst is trying to explain the concept of a dash to people when ordering. A tiny dash, I say, hoping desperately they have taken that in. Seriously, we are talking millilitres. Even the word dash intimates how LITTLE of the milk I want. You pretty much only say "da..." before trailing off with a whispered "..sh". Be quiet, shhhh, it's just a dash. But no, every single time the milk makes a gaaloop sound as it is sloshed in there. Milk of the dash quantity SHOULD NOT BE SLOOSHING!! Pant. Pant. Rant.

Other completely strange things get my goat also: why knicker manufacturers feel the need to sew, rather tightly too, the paper tag onto the front of the knickers. Ok, so we've got that tag sewn into the back, with the size and washing instructions etc that I personally cut off immediately because I don't want that dangling in my rhymes-with-Jack. Then we have the price tag or Elle Macpherson's face or some other equally-ridiculous tag explaining the science behind the design of this particular pair of knickers hanging off one side; AND THEN we have that third bit SEWN INTO the front. Why? And you basically have to cut a hole in your brand new knickers to get the freaking thing off.

And another thing. Those spare buttons you get when buying a new top.

Why do you take time and effort to store them, only to realise two years later when a button actually falls off that no way could you be assed A) looking for the matching button and B) sewing the little blighter on. You just go out and buy a new top. I mean, let's face it: the type of top that comes with a spare button has not obviously engendered much confidence in its manufacturer. It's not as if Karl Lagerfeld spent $15,000 weaving Unicorn pubes with foetal lamb eyelashes and beading gypsy tears into a gossamer gown only to sell it on Rodeo Drive with a spare button attached, is it? So, my point is, tops of the spare button calibre are likely to have given you change from $20. So if a button falls off - BUY A FREAKING NEW TOP!

Oh and I think we have covered my word nerd phobia of bad spelling, incorrect word usage (especially when done in what is meant to be an arrogant back-answer retort) and/or grammar. Call me a snob if you want people, but correct spelling will save lives. Consider this crucial comma. "Let's eat grandma" or "Let's eat, grandma".
That's all I'm saying (FULL STOP)

Think of your grandma and comment away people! I have given you two very good reasons. Well, I have given you two reasons, I retract any descriptors of their quality.

11 comments:

  1. 1. I love the new layout!

    2. When people go through the self service isles in woolworths with a shopping trolly.
    It makes me want to punch them in the back of their heads!
    They spend too much time scanning painstakingly slow and will fuck it up at least twice.
    So while I'm standing there with a bag of melting frozen peas waiting for the idiot in front to sort her scanning in order of size, weight and produce I'm having a heart attack and a bad case of tourettes.

    *I need a drink now*

    Happy 2WW and Pregnant until proven otherwise!

    Sass
    (www.lifeofthebees.com)

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  2. Oh Sass, amen to that! Supermarkets are indeed where most of my pet hates live - in aisle two, next to the Weetbix in fact. How about the old ladies who think they are the only ones in the supermarket that day: they didder, they dodder, they take up the whole aisle, they park their trolley on one side, then block everyone else while they stand there for eternity comparing two types of tinned peas!!

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  3. We're not going to go over my hatred of people singing again, let's just take that as a given!

    I've fixed the milk thing - I now say "half a splash", and woe betide anyone who puts more than a teaspoon in!

    I also love the new layout. Was going to put like, and then realized you'd tweak. So love it is!

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  4. Honey, the only tweaking coming from my end is over your Americanised spelling of realised.
    Haha! Much hearting in your direction...

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  5. Aw you poor thing, TWW's (how do you feel about acronyms?) suck big hairy arse. Here, distract yourself ridiculous Americans introducing legislation that will allow the US President to shut down the interweb: http://www.zdnet.com.au/internet-kill-switch-proposed-for-us-339303838.htm

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  6. Just happened upon your blog and I am hooked. Best wishes during your TWW - stay busy. That's my best advice. Things I hate...hmmm...besides sad things like starving children, war and intolerance, I agree with your complaints and add that I hate onions. I wish I liked them, but they really make me gag, even the smallest bit of one in marinara sauce. I also hate the practice of people spitting on the street. I live in Shanghai and it's just part of their culture, but it is so disgusting.

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  7. Spitting! Lu! Oh my goodness. I know what you mean, we have dodged the spit in both Hong Kong and Shanghai - REVOLTING. But such a beautiful city at the same time...hmmm a metropolis full of conundrum. And thanks for your comments...I feel all worldly with a fan, if I may be so bold as to refer to you as that, so far away!

    And Tenille, acronyms - ha ha ha. Well it's funny you should mention that, I posted about acronyms only recently! Please enjoy...
    http://gayfourthandmultiply.blogspot.com/2010/05/inaugural-ihac-meeting.html

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  8. I didn't see the original layout, but I do like this one.
    I also have my share of pet peeves. Lately, the one that has been affecting me the most is when a store stops carrying something that I swear they've been carrying for years *as soon as* I start buying it regularly. The same pet peeve applies to restaurants changing their menu. Besides being on a medically restricted diet, I also have food cravings that only my pregnant friends can compete with. A bad, and potentially violent, combination. ;)
    I'm here from ICLW, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your blog. Hopefully the rest of your 2ww goes by quickly!

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  9. Pet peeve: Packets of food with a convenient 'peel here' picture. After 10 minutes wrestling with it, I normally resort to stabbing the pack in a blind rage with a pair of scissors. Happy ICLW, and good luck for your 2WW!

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  10. Jackie, that happens to me all the time - or they change the recipe of your favourites but on the sly. No way are banana paddle pops as good as they were when I was little!
    Barreness, I agree. Remember the old VHS tapes that had that spray-on plastic packaging? Impossible to remove. Impossible. That makes me think of DVDs - is it just my fat fingers, or are some of them really hard to get out of their little lock-in casing? It should be easy, it should click out, but it doesn't.

    Thank you peeps - commenting gold medals to you all!! (*cue your relevant national anthem*)

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  11. Eep! A 2ww... how nerve-wracking! I hope ICLW makes it go by a little faster. I for one, am a fan of this blog design; didn't see the old one to compare it to, but I love the mellow peachy color. Good luck these 2 weeks!

    Happy ICLW ^_^
    ~Keiko, Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed

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